I pride myself in being a bit hardcore when it comes to riding my bike to work. I started commuting by bike in college because the cost of parking on CU campus was particularly high, and I thought the cost was unnecessary. There was no thought that I was doing good for myself or the environment, I simply enjoyed riding my bike, and it seemed like a good way to get around. Since then, I have come to realize how many other side benefits there are, and wish that I could let the whole world know, and save them from their wasteful single driver 5 minute trips. I believe that I am healthier and happier for the 30-60 minutes a day I regularly spend on my bicycle, and Gaia breathes a small sigh of relief as well.
Sometimes, like today, I question the prudence of that choice, given that my ride home was slightly miserable due to the wind and snow which accompanied me. Had one of many circumstances been slightly different, I wouldn't have had a problem. Had I ridden home in the light, or had I brought my nighttime glasses, or had it been a bit less windy, or had the wind been blowing in another direction, all would have been fine. But, riding into the wind without glasses left me struggling to find the optimal balance between keeping my eyes open enough to see, and keeping them closed enough to fend off the stinging downfall that met me. And struggle as I may, I didn't find that balance.
But it won't keep me off my bike. Mother Nature just gave me a gentle reminder that the seasons have changed, and now is the time to put up. This is the part I really enjoy.
To be honest, I didn't get singer Conor Oberst (aka. Bright Eyes) when I first heard him. There was no shortage of praise for his talent, but I chalked this up to some hipster counterculture movement, which were often as bad as the culture they countered. I found his lyrics rambling without purpose, his voice grating, and his music generally uninspired.
The first time through his album, "LIFTED", I picked out a song or two I could listen to again, fully expecting to do the most rash of things and purge the rest of his album from my iPod, something I had only done once before with music I had purchased. But I listened to it again, and found another few tracks. And by the third time through, I had swallowed my pride and become a fan of the entire thing.
His music is positive, insightful, and honest. And with my own difficult events of late, his music spoke to me, with its tales of frailty and uncertainty. It feels good to know there are other people who see the world similarly to me, who are really affected by things, and who choose to deal with this rather than pushing it away.
One of my favorite songs, "Bowl of Oranges", goes like this:
The rain, it started tapping on the window near my bed. There was a loophole in my dreaming, so I got out of it. And to my surprise my eyes were wide and already open. Just my nightstand and my dresser where those nightmares had just been. So I dressed myself and left then, out into the gray streets. But everything seemed different and completely new to me. The sky, the trees, houses, buildings, even my own body. And each person I encountered, I couldn't wait to meet.
I came upon a doctor who appeared in quite poor health. I said "{I am terribly sorry but} there is nothing I can do for you {that} you can't do for yourself." He said "Oh yes you can. Just hold my hand. I think that would help." So I sat with him a while and then I asked him how he felt. He said, "I think I'm cured. No, in fact, I'm sure. Thank you Stranger, for your therapeutic smile."
So that is how I learned the lesson that everyone is alone. And your eyes must do some raining if you are ever going to grow. But when crying don't help and you can't compose yourself, it is best to compose a poem, an honest verse of longing or simple song of hope. That is why I'm singing...
Baby don't worry cause now I got your back. And every time you feel like crying, I'm gonna try and make you laugh. And if I can't, if it just hurts too bad, then we will wait for it to pass, and I will keep you company through those days so long and black. And we'll keep working on the problem we know we'll never solve. Of Love's uneven remainders, our lives are fractions of a whole. But if the world could remain within a frame like a painting on a wall. Then I think we would see the beauty. Then we would stand staring in awe at our still lives posed like a bowl of oranges, like a story told by the fault lines and the soil.
If you haven't yet checked out Bright Eyes, I recommend it. And, if you already have, give him a second chance.
Spent the second day this weekend at the flying field. I'm still working out the bugs on my new Throttle Jockey pro governor; it has exposed to me that I have possibly been running the engine far too rich, and that I might also be able to get more out of the engine by running it at higher RPM. When I first installed it, the mount was poorly positioned and vibrating enough to make the sensor miss the magnet occasionally, resulting in short bursts of high throttle. A bit of tweaking fixed this, and I'm going to try and make the mount a bit stiffer to keep the sensor a bit more stable in the future.
Rojan brought his TRex to the field, showing impressive resolve in carrying it on his bike through a 30 minute bike ride.
Wayne Hollenbeck put his Sceadu into the air despite a cranky throttle servo.
I think life can be a little bit like golf. At times, there's the notion that the key to a longer shot is simply swinging harder. Obstensibly, that seems perfectly logical, a simple matter of physics and momentum. Most experienced golfers will dissent, however. The best drives are the ones done somewhat subconsciously, without deliberate and forceful thought. All you need is to give the club a bit of guidance and watch the follow-through.
Sometimes, we forget this. I've been trying for months to force order and proper form in many parts of my life, but I've been hitting far too many into the bunkers. I think its time to sit back, return to my core form, and apply just a bit of guidance.
And watch the follow-through...
